Tag Archives: New York

The Stark murder and my discomfort as a Jew

b-postfrontpage-10514The story of Menachem Stark, recently murdered slumlord, found dead and burning in a dumpster in Great Neck, NY has been all over the news.  The story is well known and the reporting on the story, specifically by the New York Post has become quite controversial.  Did I mention that Menachem Stark is a Hassidic Jew?  Of course I didn’t.  Why? Because it makes me uncomfortable on many levels.  And here is why.

To begin with there is the issue of what is known in Judaism as the Chilul Hashem.  The term, loosely translated into “The desecration of God’s name”, represents behaviors by someone who is clearly Jewish as being a poor representation of Jewish behavior.  Every time I see the face of this man, a man I did not know, I become uncomfortable with the knowledge that much of what he is accused of has a strong chance of being true.  I know that there could have been circumstances when I stood next to him in prayer.  I don’t know that I have, but I have been in enough locations over my life not to know that I haven’t.  So on one level I am somewhere between heartbroken and angry that a man who represented himself as being a guardian of the Jewish faith may have been guilty of being a slumlord concerned only about his personal fortune.  I don’t know any of this to be true.  But remember, this is about my discomfort not my personal judgment.

Part of what makes me feel this uncomfortable is the same thing that makes me shudder every time I think of his fate.  Hassidic Jews to anyone who has been exposed to Orthodox Judaism on any significant level are not people seen as being larger than life.  Even those seen as great by all, the pious, learned, and charitable types are still accessible to the people around them.  The basis of Hassidic Judaism is piety as it was formed to allow Jewish people who were not skilled in learning to still achieve a high level within the community based on their decency and kindness.  So yes, Menachem Stark may have been guilty of every charge made against him, but the thought of him being kidnapped in the snow, beaten, suffocated, burned and put in a dumpster gives me the highest level of discomfort.  Let me be clear about one thing.  I would have seen it as being just as wrong if he was not Jewish, but again, this is about my personal discomfort not my personal judgment.

And lastly and most likely most significantly, my discomfort comes with the knowledge that there are those out there who hate the Jewish people even when we do things right.  This is just the story they look for to strengthen their resolve.  They will accentuate his Jewish image as being part of the motivating factor in his lack of business ethics, they will highlight those who worked with him and defend him as being more evidence of what a “dirty Jew” is capable of, and they subtly, if not obviously, bring attention to all the things that makes his appearance and lifestyle different.  All this will at the very least be justification in their eyes for finding ways to marginalize if not completely remove the Jews from any status in society and at the very worst, justify violent acts against any Jew for no particular reason.

I can’t control the images that a tabloid like the NY Post chooses to display.  I understand the anger at the Post because it does magnify who he was and what he very possibly did wrong, but at the end of the day I believe in free speech and their right to do so.  Just as I believe in anyone’s right to protest against their journalism be it by speech, protest, or by not buying the paper at all.

Regardless of how we respond to the reporting of the story I will still be very uncomfortable with the whole situation. And I hope that if there are people out there who are representing themselves as Jews, particularly pious Jews that they take a good look at their actions and understand the responsibility that comes along with it.  Not just to the outside world but to other Jews like myself who are most likely just as uncomfortable as I am.


We are all Bostonians

bostonOn September 11, 2001 as a New York resident, I had tremendous gratitude for the support around the world and throughout the entire country.  On that day everyone was a New Yorker.  The support helped a city recover.

Today we are all Bostonians.


On Holocaust Remembrance Day: The Lessons of my Parents

00000007As a child I always remember my parents speaking of what took place in Holland during the Nazi occupation.  The term ‘Holocaust’ was rarely if ever used.  Instead they would generally speak of it in terms of “40-45”, representing the years 1940 until 1945 when Nazi Germany occupied the Netherlands.

I always knew I had lost family, specifically the parents and younger sister of my father and the father and younger brother of my mother.  It was not until I was a bit older that the scope was understood to me, very possibly due to my parents shielding me from the reality at my young age.

I always knew of the greatness of the Lubertus and Geeske te Kiefte.  The people known to me from as far back as I can remember as Oom (Uncle) Bertus and Tante (Aunt) Geesje were the people who shielded my parents, specifically my mother, and gave her a welcome home at the risk of certain torture and death.  They would always remain to me as family, as would their children and grandchildren.

I always knew it was Germany.  What history was then and what it became was something I did not begin to comprehend until my teen years.  My first understanding of the contrast that existed was my awareness that Willie Brandt, who was German Chancellor from 1969-1974 was a “good German” who had not been part of the Nazi party.  As an ignorant child it was all just numbers and random information to me.  Of course it was sad.  I never had the experience of knowing my grandparents and knew that the world my parents were born into had been destroyed.  But the true scope was something that was next to impossible for a child to grasp.  Then I grew up and realized it had very little to do with age.

Soon after I finished writing the book “Jew Face” I was thinking about all that had taken place and my perception of the events of 40-45.  As a New Yorker, I know what it means to live in a city with a strong Jewish influence, not unlike Amsterdam prior to 1940.  I closed my eyes and tried to imagine most of my family gone and 75% of the Jews of New York wiped out.  After 10 seconds I opened my eyes because it was too painful to continue.  I had the option of opening my eyes and making it no longer a reality.  This is what makes Holocaust survivors such as my mother and late father and so many others the tremendous heroes that they are.  The very ability to go on with life in the face of such awful memories without the option of opening their eyes and making it go away.  It never did go away, yet they continued to live with the pain, often turning it into new worlds filled with joy and happiness.   We owe a debt of gratitude to all these heroes that we can best repay by always remembering and fighting to make sure it never happens again.  May God bless them all forever.


Getting Satisfaction from Rock Legends

stonesIn a world where we find the time to get offended by the rantings of a fictional depraved talking Teddy bear, stories like this one do not seem to get the attention they deserve.  The Rolling Stones, 4 men who actually can influence people of common sense and intelligence with their music and image, defied the anti-Semites and hypocrites who put pressure on them to cancel their Israel tour celebrating Israel’s 65th Birthday. Rather than give in to the bullying, the Stones showed character and wisdom by not only refusing to cancel the tour, but by actually adding one extra day.   Mick Jagger, possibly the greatest front man for a rock group of all time was quoted as saying, ““We’ve been slammed and smacked and twittered a lot by the anti-Israeli side. “All I can say is: anything worth doing is worth overdoing. So we decided to add a concert on Tuesday.”  Are you paying attention Roger Waters?  This is what true character and wisdom looks like.

I’ve always loved the Stones, calling them my second favorite band of all time after the Beatles.  Not only does this make me like them even more, it makes me want to save my money in case they ever come through New York to perform another concert.  I had the great experience of seeing them live at Shea Stadium in 1989, and would be very happy to spend my money to see them again.

Thank you Mick, Keith, Charlie, and Ron.  I am very proud to call myself a fan of four genuine, decent, and immensely talented artists.  You do Rock music and all it is meant to stand for proud.


Arabs and Me-The Unedited Version

feature_IsraelPalestineConflictWhenever I write something about Israel, the Jewish people, and the Mideast situation, I stop, plan, and do some degree of research.  I never just write and share my basic fears and feelings.  So I thought I would try something new.  I’d speak, or write the thoughts that come to my mind, whether they are rational or not, and see where the article ends up.  We are all products of our environment and experiences, so as you read this know that this is not a planned or structured piece.   This is how I feel, directly and uncensored.

I don’t hate Arabs.  If anything I have found it somewhat exciting when I’ve befriended one over the years.  I worked with a bunch of Egyptians who were decent, hardworking people.  I worked in an office with a beautiful woman who was at least half Saudi.  She was classy, intelligent, and sweet.  Years ago I bought sandwiches in a Bodega from a Palestinian store owner.  The guy was friendly and the sandwiches were great.  All was good in the world.  But I never spoke about Israel with any of them, and only spoke of religion to the degree in which we needed to show respect for each other’s practices.  Honestly, I was afraid to broach any political discussion because in my heart I expected them to have nothing nice to say about Israel, and since I considered that unfair and knew it would at best tarnish how I felt about them, at worst cause a conflict, I kept quiet.

I live in New York.  In New York, whether Arab or Jew, you are removed from the real problems.  I am just another outspoken Jew who sits comfortable in safety and talks a big game.  Granted I know there are some who have served in either the U.S. or Israeli military and have put themselves in real situations, but myself and many others talk about “what needs to be done” and then go home to relative or complete safety.

Is Israel wrong? Is that even possible? Well I’ve heard the arguments and I guess I need to seriously consider it, but as a Jew I almost feel like I am betraying my people.  Even so, I’ll try, for the sake of argument to understand the Palestinian’s “plight” and consider Israel’s fault in the conflict.  Israel is, by far, the stronger of the parties involved.  Israel controls, or as they like to say, occupies the territories, so can it really be fair to call it the victim?  All the Palestinians want is to live peacefully without an outside force controlling their lives, right?  I want to be fair and try to accept that on some level, but it just doesn’t happen.  Do I feel bad when innocent people get killed? Of course I do.  But do I believe the Israeli government and its officials or population get any joy in killing an innocent Palestinian? For the most part, I believe the answer is no.  There will always be people seeking revenge or caught up in their own personal hatred, but an overwhelming percentage do not see hurting Palestinians as a priority or pleasure.

Do all Palestinians want all Jews dead?  Of course I don’t think that.  But I do believe perception becomes reality, and that an overwhelming amount of Arab leaders create power from creating a perception that Israel is a war-mongering, bloodthirsty occupier that wants to commit genocide against the Palestinians and possibly all Arabs and Muslims worldwide.   The Palestinian population, handcuffed by poverty and lack of options, is powerless to fight the information fed them, and buys into that perception.   What that basically means is that they don’t hate me because they want to hate me; they hate me because their leaders give them no choice.

So where does this leave us?  Honestly? With a nation, Israel, that has no choice.  With the attitude that many in the world have, which is “please be a good Jew and take what we do to you without resistance”, I’m happy Israel is hated by them.  In the Arab world it means they’re respected and feared, and unfortunately that is what it takes to be safe.

In some ways the whole thing breaks my heart because it would be great to live in a world with no hate, no hunger, and no violence.  But if it has to exist, you always prefer it to happen to someone else.  In that sense very few people are like a Gandhi or Mother Teresa.  To people like them, hardships to anyone is like hardships to everyone.  Most of us, even those of us not gaining pleasure from other’s pain, still take solace in knowing that their pain is what prevents a worse pain and suffering being put on us.  And as a Jew, and with our history, can you blame us?

 


Another Storm, Another Delay, and Pei-Sze Cheng

More fun travelling through storms yesterday.  I got on the Long Island Railroad (LIRR)train at Rockville Centre just as the Nor’Easter Athena(apparently they name them now as well) was in full force.  The train which was already 10 minutes late, did not leave the station right away.  As I moved to a seat closer to the front of the train, pausing near the open doors, a woman in a seat nearby commented on the train’s status.  Realizing this could end up being a long and boring trip, I sat in a seat nearby and continued our conversation.

The woman was reading updates on her phone and was kind enough to share them with me.  What she was reading was that the LIRR was temporarily suspended due to overcrowding at Penn Station.  When we began to move, and the conductor came by to collect our tickets, she asked him if this train would be remaining in service.  He jokingly replied, “when I told them you were on the train they had no choice but to continue the service”.  At first I thought the conductor was just being flirtatious, the woman was definitely flirt-worthy, but then he asked me if I knew who the woman was.  He told me she was a reporter for NBC 4  in New York, at which point she introduced herself to me as Pei-Sze Cheng.  I shamefully confessed that I do not generally watch NBC which caused her to inquisitively ask me why.  A word of advice.  If you ever meet a reporter, don’t tell them you don’t watch their station.  There really is no good answer.

Although nothing she told me was particularly private, I will still give her that basic respect and not recount everything that she did tell me.  I will say that I was somewhat taken aback by how down to earth and pleasant this woman was.  We spoke of the storm, some of the issues facing the city, and debated as to what was the best way to make into Manhattan.  At this point nothing was certain because we were stuck outside Jamaica station for a solid 15 minutes and still seeing reports of system-wide suspensions.  When I commented on how we are the lucky ones, she smiled sincerely and said something along the lines of how we certainly need to constantly remind ourselves of that fact no matter how frustrating or inconvenient things become.

After 2 1/2 hours in transit I finally made it home.  My encounter with a local celebrity just another result of one of the strangest times I’ve experienced during my time in New York.  This would almost be fun if not for the fact that for so many people yesterday’s storm was a lot more than a delay on a train.  For so many others it provided the challenge of finding enough food and shelter to survive another day.

I could not have written the book Jew Face without a basic appreciation and empathy for what my parents’ experienced between 1940 and 1945.  These past few weeks in New York put things in an even clearer perspective.  Imagine a 5 year period of, at best, uncertainty.  Imagine not knowing where you are going to sleep, if you are going to eat, and what natural elements will cause you even greater obstacles to finding life’s most basic needs.  And oh yes, add to this the fact that your life is constantly threatened by the most hostile enemy imaginable, and  you have their life over those 5 years.

I want to thank Pei-Sze Cheng for the short and pleasant company and acknowledge her wonderful perspective on the situation.  More importantly, I know we all hope that those suffering today get relief soon and have the opportunity to rebuild their lives with safety, dignity and a secure future.