Tag Archives: religion

December 29, 2021

The Lessons I’ve Learned and Wish to Share

By davidgroen1
Loch Lomond, Scotland

Over the years, those who have followed me know that I write my best when what I write comes from the heart.  As I am on the brink of an important personal milestone, what I write today is as much from the heart as anything I have ever written.  What I want to share with you today are some of the most important life lessons I’ve learned in my 60 years on earth.

So if you ask yourself what is it about me that makes the lessons worth listening to, it’s simple. I am a very happy man.  While I may not be the most successful of people by the standards of some, should a wealthy individual with many acquisitions be seen as a success if said individual is not happy?  Well one of the important lessons I’ve learned, and one I will share right away, is that my personal happiness or success is not determined by how others judge their own.  So I will leave that question unanswered, because it has little to no bearing on me.

One of the big questions we face is whether or not life should be looked at through the big picture lens or as a series of events.  The truth is, as balance is one of the most important aspects of life, being able to identify events and the big picture as 2 major elements in a good life is very important.  Friendships, and relationships as a whole are a perfect example of the application of this balance.  There are people with who we share great moments and people with who we have long lasting meaningful relationships.  Our most treasured relationships are with those that encompass both.  However, part of that for which we need to be grateful are those who are in our life in whatever capacity it turns out to be.  The concept of accepting someone for who they are is not only poignant, it is critical to maintaining relationships that will last and most likely enhance our lives.

All these theoretical concepts are nice, but when push comes to shove how many of us are able to put aside our egos and preconceived notions in order to maintain these relationships? It’s a good question and one that no one person is qualified to answer. I will say though, that up towards the top of principals I live by is the notion of not losing sight of the objective.  To put too much emphasis on being respected or making a point, knowing full well that respect can’t be forced and ideals can be imposed, is taking a potentially pleasant or meaningful gathering and turning it into a conflict.  Whether you justify it or not, you’ve lost sight of your objective. Or if you go on a vacation and one bad experience, be it with a place or person, occupies more space in your head than the thrill of your trip, you have lost sight of your objective.

Now of course I know that some things are out of our control and no matter what we do we can’t change them or make them better, but this leads me to an even more important lesson I’ve learned, one that we’ve heard often and one I work to apply every day of my life. 

The lesson I am referring to is one of the core principals in living a happy and fulfilling life.  It is understanding that we should only focus on controlling that which we can control, and knowing how to accept, or at the very least come to terms with that which we cannot control.  The age of COVID-19 is a more important time in which to apply this principal than any other time I can remember.  At least from a communal perspective.  It is hard to believe that we live in an era in which dealing with how people treat each other during a pandemic is an added problem to contend with, but as we all know, it most certainly is one.  I am not knowledgeable enough to speak in absolutes when it comes to COVID, and whether or not I feel anyone else is or not.  All I can do in every aspect of my life is to treat others in a way I feel is fair and decent and take any actions or precautions I deem appropriate for me or anyone else for who I am responsible.  Disease, illness and death are not good things I can change with a positive attitude, but my attitude can have an impact on how I and sometimes others can deal with or come to terms with these issues.

Don’t get weighed down by the need to avoid living a life with some or many clichés.   Each moment is precious. There! I said it, fully aware of what a cliché it is. Does that make it any less true?  Absolutely not.  Appreciation for what we have now is as important as appreciation for what we have had till now. Being in the moment allows us to get joy from a brief encounter with a stranger, a delicious food, a refreshing drink, or a beautiful sunset or vista.  While an individual moment rarely is special enough to alter an entire perspective, the cumulative appreciation makes the love of these moments more than just brief experiences, they make you the person you should desire to become and helps give you the added strength to deal with life’s more challenging moments.

Before I share with you what I have come to believe is the most important thing I have learned about life, I am going to briefly, and as safely as possible address what are arguably the 3 most highly debated subjects to discuss.  Money, religion and God.

I am of the belief, another belief I know I share with others, that when it comes to all 3, each individual needs to decide for themselves how much importance they each get, if any.  Most people who say they don’t care about money have either so much that is no longer a concern, or feel that what they have in life is enough to make them happy. Whether you care about money or not, the one piece of advice I would offer, is do not let money control you or define you.

Religion may forever be debated as coming from God or man, a matter I will not debate in this piece, but no one can ever convince me that using religion to harm another human being is anything other than a perversion of what one claims to be an ethical pursuit. If you believe in any religion, use it for good.

While some may have put God and religion in the same category, I firmly believe these are 2 very separate discussions.  Religion is about dogma and personal and communal behaviors.  God is rooted more in belief of a higher power, and in my opinion, there may be nothing more personal, nothing more unique than each individual’s perception of the existence or lack of existence of God.  The impact of the subject of God may very well be compared to a snowflake.  No 2 people look at it entirely the same way.  While much of what brings me peace, guidance and happiness is my trust in God and the plan in place, I make it a point to accept this as a perspective very personal to me, regardless of whether or not it is agreed upon or totally dismissed by another.

So where do other people fit into all of this discussion of a happy and fulfilling life?  While I see this subject as I see so many others, very personal and individual, for me it is simple.  We are put on this planet to live with others. I know that we are born alone and we die alone, but the time in between is a different matter entirely.  We live in a world with other people.  While I recognize that many may be less comfortable with strangers than I am, and some may be skeptical or suspicious of other’s intentions, one of my most important credos is as follows.  Meeting someone I did not know when I woke up in the morning is one of the things that makes life worth living.  It always has been the case for me and I intend to do my utmost to make it a sentiment I hold with me for the remainder of my days.  To the people I have met, loved, helped and wronged, I thank you all for helping to make me who I am today, and know that I am truly sorry for when I wronged you. It was never about causing you pain, it was only a result of being what we all are, flawed creatures.

All of these lessons enrich my life and make challenges easier to deal with, but when all is said and done, the one principal that truly dictates how I live my life is one taught in Jewish teachings.  It is the lesson in Pirkei Avot, The lessons of our fathers.  It is the simple and most powerful sentence teaching how to live a happy and fulfilling life.  While I know of many people who know this sentence, for those who are not familiar with it, is goes as follows.

Who is the rich one? The one who is happy with their portion.

There is no more sound formula for a happy and fulfilling life than the true understanding of this sentence.  It is easy to wake up with so many of your goals achieved and with excessive good fortune, but what happens when it does not all go the way that you planned?  At one point or another everyone has to face sadness or disappointment.  I can tell you with clarity, understanding and complete honesty that my life has gone very differently than I hoped or expected it would when I was a much younger man.  However, I can also say that as I sit here today, just days shy of my 60th birthday, that I am a very happy man. Because my happiness is not dependent on what I will get or even how much time I will get in the future, but on what I have been blessed with today.   Life itself is a gift, and I am truly happy with my portion in this life. I wish the same happiness for all of you.

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August 4, 2014

Our Souls Uplifted

By davidgroen1

A ray of hopeWhat you are about to read is something I wrote on June 10, 2007, 3 days before my father passed away.  With all that is happening in the world today, and on this meaningful day in the Jewish calendar, I wanted to share this very meaningful and personal post.  So many of our days recently have been ordinary days interrupted with moments of tremendous sadness.  On this, the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, and at a time when the events in the world are often incomprehensible,   I present you with what I hope provides you with some faith and inspiration.

 

 

 

 

What I write today I do not write for myself, but I write for those who struggle with emotional pain, anxiety, and doubt. It is for those who out of love or need or responsibility, take upon themselves what feels like the weight of the world.

I am not sure that this falls into the category of religion, but there certainly is a place for it there. This weight that these people feel, the pain, the hurt, is far more easily removed than they realize.  Sometimes all they need to do is to allow God to lift it.

Let’s start with one very important concept and from there it will become so much simpler. When we know our loved ones are going to pass on, or have passed on, we need to make a distinction between how it hurts us to no longer have them in our lives, from the existence and life that they have had and are about to encounter. Let’s work under the assumption that if it hurts to see them go, that we have memories that will make us smile and laugh and shed tears of joy for what they brought to our lives. In that we can celebrate their life and glorify their memory.

And in their passing let’s realize that the human soul is only less powerful than God and is in essence a part of God’s manifestation on earth. And with that knowledge and understanding we must remember and understand that not only will there be no pain and suffering for our loved ones who leave us, but more than likely there will be a bliss, a joy, and an eternal beauty that we find so difficult to grasp on to on this earth. Ironically it us, those who are left behind, who need to be uplifted in spirit. And the one most poignant way to do so, is to allow the souls of our loved ones to do that which they either have begun, or truly desire to do. To guide us, prepare us, and teach us. As long as we realize that it is their souls attempting to instruct our souls, then, and only then will we bring that true connection and symmetry between our life on earth and the life our souls live now and later.

Be strong everyone and be sure to keep moving forward. But at one point if you truly want to achieve an even greater joy with those you have loved and lost, let go, trust, and allow yourself to be guided to a higher level together with them.

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March 29, 2013

The Last Seder?

By davidgroen1

mealDespite my own personal ideological struggles, I am a Jew who believes in the philosophies of Judaism before I believe in those of any other religion.  However, I do feel that now maybe more than any time in history the alliance between Christians and Jews has never been more important.  The rise of Islam, a rise that in many places preaches only Islam, has put the concept of freedom of religion in more danger than any time in modern history.  With that in mind I am making a short post to discuss, and hopefully create a discussion regarding the connection between Passover and Easter.

I often say, only partially tongue in cheek, that there are 2 major differences between Christianity and Judaism.  One is that while Christians are awaiting the 2nd coming, us Jews are still awaiting the 1st.  Either way we are still awaiting the supposed Messiah or Messianic era.  The second difference would be the disagreement over who is the best Jew of all time.  There would be some discussion on the matter, but as a Jew I would put in my vote for Moses, and I would be surprised if I didn’t end up backing the winner.  Christians however, even if they have a fondness for Moses, clearly would pick Jesus.

It is widely believed that “The last supper” was actually a Passover Seder.  Seeing the apparent time of year and the fact that a group got together around the table for discussion, there is much credence to this belief.  Ultimately, those who believe in the Messiah coming in a mystical, ultra spiritual way would see the events celebrated by Christians as a realistic method for the savior to be revealed.  Us Jews however do not believe that has actually taken place.  However, if either belief causes people to behave in ways of peace, love and tolerance, they help the world far more than hurt the world.

What are your thoughts?

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March 24, 2013

Freedom: Not a Religious Concept

By davidgroen1

mosesEvery year as Passover approaches I find myself intrigued by how many Jewish people, even those relatively uninvolved in religious observance, put importance on some form of celebration of the holiday.  Seeing as it is a holiday that begins with sitting around a table with friends and family, telling a story and eating, naturally it is partially due to how uncomplicated and potentially enjoyable this form of observance can actually be.  However, when thinking about it this year I came to an entirely different and much deeper explanation.  The attraction to Passover is that it has very little to do with religion.  Passover transcends religion, inasmuch as it about something not provided by religion.  That would be the basic theme of Passover, the importance of freedom.

We live in an increasingly complex society.  People consider freedom to manifest itself in issues once not even considered important to humankind.  In the United States, freedom now has become connected to lifestyle choices, possession of weapons, and how to treat your body.  In Muslim populations, as well as ultra-religious communities everywhere, levels of freedom are often gender based, men are often provided with freedoms women are not provided with, and when not are based on first accepting the basic rules of the community.    In more progressive, liberal environments, freedom is expressed by the decriminalization of things like drugs and prostitution.  And in some parts of the world, freedom is still about the basic right to survive and live as the person you were born to be, without restriction from governments or dictators.

Freedom has always been the ultimate weapon.  Take away someone’s freedom and the belief is that you have the ultimate control over what they do.  It is the primary and justified complaint against religious leadership.  The belief that impacting someone’s freedom because your belief system considers their personal choices to be wrong for society and the individual, sets up a scenario where people do exactly what is expected of them.  Ironically it takes away from the freedom given by God that is very possibly the most important freedom that exists. The freedom of choice.

The truth is that no one can take that freedom away from any man or woman ever.   The consequences may be dire, but the freedom remains.  My grandparents, when presented with the option to accept Baptismal papers in 1943 Amsterdam, refused to accept them.  Everyone, including them, knew their chances survival would be greater had they accepted them, but they made the ultimate sacrifice in choosing the freedom to live as Jews and subsequently die as Jews by refusing the papers.  They let no man take away their freedom to be Jews, even though it resulted in them being murdered in Auschwitz.

The lesson to be learned is that what makes Passover so attractive is that it is truly about freedom.  A freedom that no government, religious institution, or random individual can ever take from any of us.  That freedom is the freedom of choice.    And the reason no man can ever take it away from us is because it is a freedom given to us by God.  Where religions and governments have failed all over the world is in their unwillingness to take second place to man’s freedom to decide for how he wishes to live his life. A freedom no one can ever take away and a freedom and a concept far greater than religious observance, for it is a freedom given directly to man by God.  That is a freedom all men and women share equally, and the expression of that is part of what makes the celebration of Passover so attractive to so many.

Happy Passover to all who celebrate, and to those who do not, in the theme of the day I wish you a life filled with true freedom.

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April 21, 2012

The Importance of Freedom

By davidgroen1

As Jews all over the world celebrate Shabbat (the Jewish Sabbath), I think back once again to what we commemorated and remembered this week.  It strikes me how the Holocaust reached even further than the 6 million killed.  The basic freedom to practice the religion in any way was stripped from mostly every Jew in Europe.  The lesson to  us all, regardless of what we believe in or practice, is to never take for granted our freedom and to stand up and fight those who would oppress others merely for being what they are and for what they believe in.  We must recognize it happened before in order to prevent it from happening ever again.

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