Author Archives: davidgroen1

Why Tisha B’Av exemplifies how difficult being Jewish can be

(Venice) La distruzione del tempio di Gerusalemme -Francesco Hayez – gallerie Accademia Venice

After spending time in my synagogue this evening in commemoration of Tisha B’Av, the 9th day of the Hebrew calendar month of Av, I got to thinking in more depth about part of what it means to be Jewish. Tisha B’Av, the day both Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed, many years apart, is by every account the saddest day of the year for the Jewish people. It is also a day in which the Holocaust is once again remembered, and traditionally is the day in which victims murdered by the Nazis on unknown dates are remembered and honored. As I thought about the day, and the plight of the Jewish people, my mind seemed to go deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, and I came to some conclusions I wish to share with you.

Throughout the ages the Jewish people have been hated, persecuted, tortured and murdered. In many instances people have been made to rally around the hatred of the Jewish population, blaming them for all their ills. In many cases it was based on suspicion caused by ignorance. The fact that Jews did not suffer as badly during the black plague, widely believed to be because of the Jewish laws of washing the hands before meals and after relieving themselves, created tremendous suspicion. The bizarre claim of the blood libel comes to mind. But I would imagine that if you were to poll Jews around the world and ask them the source of anti-Semitism, most would most likely say it is because of jealousy.

Claims that the Jewish people control the media and Hollywood are not uncommon, and of course the most common anti-Semitic trope throughout the ages, the Jews control the money, and in modern times, the banks. Many whose lives are not what they would like them to be, look for someone to blame. Often times that blame falls on the Jews. And often not as much because of what they perceive that they do, but because of what they have and how they live. If there is this jealousy, which most will at the very least agree is a driving force for much of the hatred, those who are jealous need to remember this very poignant and oft used adage. Be careful of what you wish for.

As I read the Megillah Eicha, the Book of Lamentations, I read some of the most horrific atrocities one could imagine befalling the Jewish people. In many ways it reads like atrocities you could imagine the Jews suffering under the Nazis, minus the concentration camps and genocide. Jewish people feeling tremendous physical pain and mental anguish. Experiencing almost unimaginable suffering and brutality. Hunger to the point of salvation. But what makes Eicha so chilling, is that the horrors the Jewish people endure are not said to be inflicted on them by a mortal enemy, but by God himself. Many separating themselves from the mundane on this day would certainly look at this deeper and ask themselves why God would be so cruel to his Chosen People.

I do not dare to speak to how God feels, but I do feel that there is a connection between the suffering documented in Eicha and the achievements of the Jewish people in so many walks of life throughout the ages. It comes down to expectations and responsibility. Working on the belief and assumption that the Jews are indeed the Chosen People, God bestows great joys and accomplishments on the Jews. But it comes with a very steep price, and that is living by a higher code. This higher code to many is seen as the Torah, but somehow it seems that Jews who choose not to follow many of the laws of the Torah still live by a standard revolving around greater expectations. It is when you believe that God has put those expectations on the Jewish people that it begins to get somewhat terrifying, for in Eicha, for all intents and purposes, the entire theme of the book seems to be punishment of the Jews for not following the laws.

So as I go back to the idea and history of Jew hatred, I ask those who hate us for all that we have and all that we have achieved as a people, would you be willing to pay the price? I love being Jewish, but even as someone who has never suffered through slavery, torture or genocide, I know that being part of my faith comes with a price. That price is not just the hatred of groups of people throughout the ages, but also and more significantly, the punishment for not living the life that many believe is a covenant made with God. So for those whose hatred is based mostly on jealousy I say one more time and with even more emphasis and emotion, be careful what you wish for.

For those fasting I wish you and easy and meaningful fast.

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Welcome Singapore

I realize this might be some type of web crawler, but I am welcoming Singapore to see if it causes a greater spike or gets a reaction


Open Letter to Johnny Bench: When your childhood hero breaks your heart with an antisemitic slur

Dear Johnny,

Let me begin by saying that when high profile people make statements that belittle Jewish people in traditional ways, they show at the very least an incredible lack of sensitivity to the persecution we have suffered through as a people.

My name is David Groen. I was born on January 2, 1962 in the Jewish Hospital in Hamilton County Cincinnati. By that time, my parents, Holocaust survivors from Holland, had lived in Cincinnati since 1955 and had become avid Reds fans. So although we would move to a different city when I was just a year and a half, it was not surprising that growing up I would become a Reds fan myself. And while years later my devotion to the team would wane, I was incredibly fortunate that the first team I would love in sports, was one of the best baseball teams to ever play the game. The Big Red Machine.

What a team it was. I could name most players on the team, including the relief pitchers, but when it came down to it the team centered primarily around the exceptional play of Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Tony Perez, in later years George Foster, and my personal favorite, you, Johnny Bench. I have always argued, often without pushback that you are the greatest catcher to ever play the game. Your defensive abilities were unmatched, and your accomplishments as a hitter, centered around clutch power, gave you a special flare for the heroic. I am 61 years old, and there are 3 things that anyone who knows me well can tell you. My favorite movie of all time is the Wizard of Oz. I think that when it comes to modern music there’s the Beatles and then everyone else. And my favorite baseball player of all time, certainly for as long as I can remember has been you, Johnny Bench.

But here is the problem I have today. Far more important to me than baseball is the importance I put on my Jewish faith. As the son of Holocaust survivors and someone who continues to fight in defense against hatred towards my religion and culture, I am very passionate when it comes to speaking out against those who belittle, mock, or hate the Jewish people. So when I found out about your recent “joke”, if I am to be very honest, tears started coming to my eyes. At a news conference honoring former Reds general manager Gabe Paul, who was Jewish, Pete Rose recalled, “When I got out of high school in 1960, Gabe Paul signed me to a contract for 400 bucks a month.” At which point Jennie Paul, Gabe Paul’s daughter joked, “that cheap, never mind”. That is when you chimed in, “He was Jewish”.

I know that many will say that there are far worse things said about Jews by far more relevant people, but for me this is personal. You were my childhood hero. When I was 24 and living in New York, I interviewed for a job to run a distribution center for a Proxy Solicitation firm. During the interview I was asked, if the world were made of candy and I could get anything I wanted, what job would I choose? Since I was focused more on getting the job, which I did, than I was on being 100% honest, I answered with my second choice, a broadcast journalist. If I would have been completely honest I would have answered, catcher for the Cincinnati Reds, because that was the job of my childhood hero, Johnny Bench. So when I say this is personal, it is because it transcends 50 decades of knowing that my first sports hero instinctively felt it was funny to belittle and make fun of who and what I am, and since it is next to impossible to go straight from having been my favorite baseball player for over 50 year to becoming the enemy, it ends up being heartbreaking for me and very personal instead.

So now, like so many others, you apologize to make it all go away. Well for me personally, since that is not enough, I have a suggestion. My mother’s younger brother and uncle I would never know, Bram Rodrigues, was murdered by the Nazis 3 weeks shy of his 19th birthday. You were called up to the Majors to play for the Reds at the age of 19. As a true sign of remorse for your lack of sensitivity, you, a man whose life became blessed when you got a dream job at the age of 19, should help me honor the memory of a young man who never made it to 19 because he was murdered just for being a Jew. Help me tell the story of how his violin made it back to the children of Bram’s sister, my mother, more than 70 years after his life was ripped away from him before he ever had a chance at achieving any of his dreams. http://bramsviolin.com/ . Do that Johnny, and I will not only accept your apology, but I might even go back to revering you as a baseball legend and a childhood hero.

Sincerely,

David Groen

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Remembering Rebbetzin Toby Friedman

It is not so often that you meet someone that makes you ask yourself, do I like them more or do I admire them more?

Rebbetzin Toby Friedman, or just Toby as so many of us knew her, was one of these people. In the 6 years in which I was a part of the Oceanside Jewish community, I was fortunate to have numerous opportunities to interact with this wonderful, pleasant woman. I had the honor and pleasure of driving her a number of times to and from the city, some for medical appointments, and one time so she could watch one of her grandchildren perform in a play. What struck me every time was that the moment she was seated in the car, you forgot that she was wheelchair bound. Her disability did not define her. Her strength and courage were so subtle, so much a part of her normal every day personality that it almost seemed like it was not a big deal. But it was, because it was inspirational, courageous, and admirable. And it helped make a Shabbos or Yom Tov meal with her and Rabbi Friedman as much fun as it was meaningful.

And then there was June, just 13 months ago, when I was in Oceanside for Shavuos, and the day after the holiday ended I was scheduled to leave late in the day for Israel. The problem was that I found myself with a dental emergency. I showed up at Dr. Solomon’s office where I explained to Toby that I was leaving on a flight to Israel in less than 10 hours, and the pain I had was so severe I was concerned about flying. I was seen by one of the dentists within an hour, had an abscess drained, and was charged a remarkably small amount of money. I always knew that while nothing was said by her or anyone in the office to verify this, my good fortune that day was because of Toby’s influence.

Being blessed to be part of a community as wonderful as Oceanside brings great joy, but with great joy in the face of loss it brings pain. While we all wish we never had to feel that pain, the joy of having known someone as special as Toby Friedman makes it a price willing to pay. I wish my friend Rabbi Friedman and all his family the strength they need moving forward. And for Toby, Baruch Dayan Emes.

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A Renewed Commitment to the Global Coalition for Israel

When Eyal Yifrach, Naftali Frenkel and Gilad Shaar, ages 19, 16 and 16 were kidnapped and murdered by Palestinian terrorists in June of 2014, I found myself so angry and driven by the turn of events that I formed Global Coalition for Israel on Facebook to address events in Israel and Jewish causes worldwide. While the group has grown to over 4,300 members, in recent times I have not given it the attention it requires and deserves.

Sadly, last week in yet another terrorist attack in Israel, 48 year old Lucy (Leah) Dee, and her 2 daughter Maia 20, and Rina 15 were murdered in cold blood. While I put value on every life, this recent attack has shaken me to the core in a way no such attack has since the 3 boys were murdered in 2014. So in the memory of the Leah, Maia, and Rina Dee, and out of respect and support for their family left behind, Rabbi Leo Dee and his 3 remaining children, I will commit to giving greater attention and development of Global Coalition for Israel. Your contributions will be welcomed, and your help and support will be greatly appreciated. To those who have contributed in the past, your appropriate posts will be posted in a timely fashion moving forward. We all have a job to do, and a responsibility to all that is decent and good.

May the memories of all victims of terrorism be a blessing and to those who have lost loved ones, May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

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Blessing the memory of Leah, Maia, and Rina Dee

Last Friday, a terrorist attack in Israel took the lives of a mother and 2 of her children. I implore you to listen to the words of Rabbi Leo Dee, the man whose 48 year old wife Leah, and 2 of his daughters, Maia age 20 and Rina age 15, were the victims of this despicable act. In their memory he is asking April 10th to be Dee’s Day, and to post an Israeli flag in their honor.

https://images.app.goo.gl/wvdQiYKLe37GnyYi7

https://www.inn.co.il/news/597997

In a situation where we would tend to feel helpless to do anything to help this grieving man and his remaining 3 children, I simply say, let’s do what he asks of us.

Baruch Dayan Emes. Blessed is the true judge.

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Jupiter and Marlins and all these stars

As one of the many transplanted New Yorkers living in South Florida, and a resurgent baseball fan, my  experience this past Wednesday March 8th  , where I had the privilege of witnessing the national team of Israel play the Miami Marlins at Roger Dean Stadium in Jupiter, was a highly notable one. 

I had the good fortune a few weeks back of meeting a high ranking executive for the Marlins.  When I shared with him my strong connection to Israel and my observance of Judaism, he proceeded to inform me of the upcoming matchup.  Although I consider myself a pretty big Mets fan, the  executive made me realize how far I had fallen as a baseball fan when I asked him who Jazz was.  Jazz Chisholm, a Marlins star player who is on the cover of the video game, MLB The Show 23, is an exciting and talented young player. I just didn’t know it yet.  The exec was kind enough to contact me the next day and ask me if I was interested in going to the Marlins vs. Israel game.  The following day I had 2 tickets waiting for me in my Inbox.

 

I decided to take my brother Leo to the game.  Having once been a member of the Israel Defense Forces and someone who had lived in Israel for a number of years, I knew he would enjoy the game and the experience as much as I would.  The fun started as soon as we arrived in town.  Shoutout to the city of Jupiter. It may well be the only highly affluent city I’ve even been in where you can actually find something for free. Within a matter of minutes we managed to find 2 things for free.  First, the parking was free.  Then, as we were on the way out, a golf cart approached us and offered us a free ride to the ballpark, paid for by the stadium itself.  After briefly walking through the neighboring streets, we decided to go into the stadium where the Kosher food truck allowed us the opportunity to eat a meal meeting our dietary requirements.

Our seats were perfect. Sitting slightly on the 3rd base side of home plate, I have never been more qualified to call whether a lefty hitter went around on a swing or not.   After a group of adorable kids sang both Israel’s and America’s national anthems, the game was on.

The atmosphere was relaxed and fun.  Knowing that neither team was playing a game that counted, our expectations were not high.  Nevertheless, it was evident that these were players on, or close to the highest level the game had to offer.  Particularly on the Marlins side. I got to see Jazz bat and get on base with a bunt his first time up, displaying fundamental skills and speed.

While Leo and I went there cheering on Team Israel, within a few innings we had 2 specific players for whom we had developed a vested interest.  One was a player on the Marlins roster who is vying for a spot on the big team roster.  His wife was sitting on our row with their 2 young children.  And the other was a player on Team Israel, whose girlfriend came along an inning or 2 later.   Throughout the game we would learn more about what it was like to be minor league journeyman and the family sharing the journey.  We would also learn facts about playing for Team Israel that just made the evening more enjoyable.

What surprised me more than anything was how I felt the following day. I am a Met fan, and likely will be one for my remaining time on this earth, but thanks to the kindness of the executive I met a few weeks ago, I now feel like I have a relationship with a new team.  It has always been my thought, one that I took from people older and smarter than me, that more than in any other sport, when it comes to baseball, you support the home team. So from this moment on, as I am now a resident of South Florida, with the exception of when they play against the New York Mets, I will be pulling for the Miami Marlins.  While I think I got the tickets purely as a kind gesture, kind gestures add up, and so does a fan base.  Lets Go Marlins (except against the Mets).

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From falling 2 years ago to gratitude today

Two years ago today, on a cold Saturday night in Long Island, after coming back from dinner, my date and I went to visit friends in the neighborhood.  What we, nor anyone else in the house at the time knew, was that outside an ice storm had started, one that was not forecast to take place.  As we said goodbye, my date stepped out, slipped, and grabbed the railing, avoiding injury. I stepped out, my feet slipped forward and I fell straight back, the back of my head hitting the concrete.  Bleeding like I had never bled before, my friends called an ambulance and I was transported to the local hospital.

When all was said and done, I ended up with 5 staples and a nasty concussion.  As I often say to people who never had a concussion, you know what a concussion is, but you don’t understand a concussion till you’ve had a concussion.  Besides causing symptoms like blurred vision and headaches-I actually had a constant headache for the first 3 weeks-it wreaks havoc on your mental and emotional status.  

Fast forward, by May 1st feeling much better, I declared myself mostly recovered.  The one thing I was not able to do however was write.  Every time I tried, my mind darted all over the place.  While I feared I might have lost the ability to do what I enjoy most, I rationalized it by saying to myself, if this is the worst to come from this, I’m a lucky guy.  As fortune would have it, by July I was writing again and could then say that I had completely recovered.

Many people go through incidents much worse than this one, but nevertheless I find it important to share.  And here is why.  When I was in the hospital the Emergency Room Dr. looked at my head and said “Good Job!” When I replied, “Why? Is it not that bad?”, she replied, “No. Good job that you’re here. Many people here don’t need to be. You do need to be here.”  Later when the CT Scan returned showing no major damage the same Dr. told me that she was relieved to see the results of the scan because she was not sure I would be OK until that point.  What that told me, combined with the slight recollection I have of the impact of the fall, is that had I fallen just a little bit harder or maybe at a different angle, I would either have had long term or permanent damage or even worse, it would have taken my life.  So as I sit here 2 years later, now living in South Florida where the only ice I see is in the bottom of my Scotch glass, and feeling healthier than I have for many years, the gratitude I have to God for allowing me to be where I am today needs to be shared with as many people as possible.

This is why I am sharing this today.  Because I can now look back at 2 years ago and recognize how fortunate I am.

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Thank you and Good Luck to the one team I can count on. Fly Eagles Fly!!

As Super Bowl LVII approaches, I find it worth mentioning that when the game begins I will be watching for and cheering on the one and only team that has not let me down over the past 26 plus years. That team is the Philadelphia Eagles.

I lived in New York from July 1985 till January 2022.  On October 27, 1986 the New York Mets won the World Series against the Boston Red Sox. Now that you know where my baseball loyalties lie, you may or may not know that the Mets have not won the World Series since that day. So we can check the Mets off as a team that has come through for me.

Next, we have the Philadelphia Flyers. Having lived in Philly between the 1969 and 1976, I can confidently say that if you were a fan of Ice Hockey during the 2 straight years the Flyers won the Stanley Cup in 1974 and 1975 you are a Flyers fan for life.  But with no Stanley Cup victory since, it might as well be called a life sentence.

I am a New York Knicks fan. No need to elaborate there.

I lived in London from 1976- 1980 at which time I picked Tottenham Hotspur as my team.  I didn’t pick Chelsea, a team that has won the Premier League 5 times in the 21st century. I also didn’t pick Arsenal, a team that has won the league 3 times since the late 90s and is on track to win it again this year.  No. The London team I chose to support is Tottenham Hotspur, arguably the most consistently mediocre team in the Premier League, and certainly less successful than the other 2 London teams I just referenced. In fact, the last time they won the championship was 1961, when I wasn’t born yet and the Premier League was yet to be formed. Thanks a lot Spurs.

And finally, as a fan of international Soccer, and the son of Dutch parents, I have had the pleasure of cheering on The Netherlands men soccer team, widely referred as the best team to never win the World Cup.  While their victories to get to those finals brough me some joy, ultimately, they too let me down in the game that mattered most.

So that brings me to the Philadelphia Eagles.  When the Eagles beat the New England Patriots and Tom Brady 5 years ago, they became the first team since 1986 to give me a championship to celebrate. Since then, while all the other teams I root for have been back to their old tricks, the  Eagles have rebuilt to the point of being considered the better of the 2 teams to play in Super Bowl LVII. Although I am perfectly aware that the Kansas City Chief and Patrick Mahomes, coached by former Eagles Head Coach Andy Reid are no joke, just getting to this point is something that brings me and many other fans of the team great joy.  I expect victory tomorrow, and will not be happy if we lose, but regardless of the result, they’ve done more for me than any other team I’ve invested time in supporting.

So I finish this self-indulgent, somewhat narcissistic piece with just 3 words.

FLY EAGLES FLY!!!!

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The shooting in Jerusalem on International Holocaust Remembrance Day reminds us that the fight never ends

It is International Holocaust Remembrance Day and there are still those who will murder us just for being Jews. The shooting today in Jerusalem is evidence of this sad fact. At last count 7 people were killed, likely on their way home to Friday night dinner after Shabbat prayers.

We can never completely rest. I wish it were otherwise, but this is a fight that never ends. I will continue to do my part in telling the story of my family to bring to life the reality of the murder of 6 million Jews. As the son of Holocaust survivors from Holland, when I read how one quarter of Dutch youth believe the Holocaust was a myth, I realize why we are so far from the peace we so dearly cherish. https://m.jpost.com/diaspora/antisemitism/article-729462 Not knowing what happened opens the possibility of it happening again, and we can never accept that possibility. When Jews get murdered outside of a synagogue just for being Jews, whether it is in Jerusalem or Pittsburgh, we need to realize that whatever we can do to combat this evil we must take upon ourselves to do.

I will honor those lost by continuing to fight in the way that I know how, which is to educate people about what really happened, and to make the point that ignorance is rarely replaced by good, far more often with evil.

Never Again!

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