Monthly Archives: July 2023

Why Tisha B’Av exemplifies how difficult being Jewish can be

(Venice) La distruzione del tempio di Gerusalemme -Francesco Hayez – gallerie Accademia Venice

After spending time in my synagogue this evening in commemoration of Tisha B’Av, the 9th day of the Hebrew calendar month of Av, I got to thinking in more depth about part of what it means to be Jewish. Tisha B’Av, the day both Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed, many years apart, is by every account the saddest day of the year for the Jewish people. It is also a day in which the Holocaust is once again remembered, and traditionally is the day in which victims murdered by the Nazis on unknown dates are remembered and honored. As I thought about the day, and the plight of the Jewish people, my mind seemed to go deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, and I came to some conclusions I wish to share with you.

Throughout the ages the Jewish people have been hated, persecuted, tortured and murdered. In many instances people have been made to rally around the hatred of the Jewish population, blaming them for all their ills. In many cases it was based on suspicion caused by ignorance. The fact that Jews did not suffer as badly during the black plague, widely believed to be because of the Jewish laws of washing the hands before meals and after relieving themselves, created tremendous suspicion. The bizarre claim of the blood libel comes to mind. But I would imagine that if you were to poll Jews around the world and ask them the source of anti-Semitism, most would most likely say it is because of jealousy.

Claims that the Jewish people control the media and Hollywood are not uncommon, and of course the most common anti-Semitic trope throughout the ages, the Jews control the money, and in modern times, the banks. Many whose lives are not what they would like them to be, look for someone to blame. Often times that blame falls on the Jews. And often not as much because of what they perceive that they do, but because of what they have and how they live. If there is this jealousy, which most will at the very least agree is a driving force for much of the hatred, those who are jealous need to remember this very poignant and oft used adage. Be careful of what you wish for.

As I read the Megillah Eicha, the Book of Lamentations, I read some of the most horrific atrocities one could imagine befalling the Jewish people. In many ways it reads like atrocities you could imagine the Jews suffering under the Nazis, minus the concentration camps and genocide. Jewish people feeling tremendous physical pain and mental anguish. Experiencing almost unimaginable suffering and brutality. Hunger to the point of salvation. But what makes Eicha so chilling, is that the horrors the Jewish people endure are not said to be inflicted on them by a mortal enemy, but by God himself. Many separating themselves from the mundane on this day would certainly look at this deeper and ask themselves why God would be so cruel to his Chosen People.

I do not dare to speak to how God feels, but I do feel that there is a connection between the suffering documented in Eicha and the achievements of the Jewish people in so many walks of life throughout the ages. It comes down to expectations and responsibility. Working on the belief and assumption that the Jews are indeed the Chosen People, God bestows great joys and accomplishments on the Jews. But it comes with a very steep price, and that is living by a higher code. This higher code to many is seen as the Torah, but somehow it seems that Jews who choose not to follow many of the laws of the Torah still live by a standard revolving around greater expectations. It is when you believe that God has put those expectations on the Jewish people that it begins to get somewhat terrifying, for in Eicha, for all intents and purposes, the entire theme of the book seems to be punishment of the Jews for not following the laws.

So as I go back to the idea and history of Jew hatred, I ask those who hate us for all that we have and all that we have achieved as a people, would you be willing to pay the price? I love being Jewish, but even as someone who has never suffered through slavery, torture or genocide, I know that being part of my faith comes with a price. That price is not just the hatred of groups of people throughout the ages, but also and more significantly, the punishment for not living the life that many believe is a covenant made with God. So for those whose hatred is based mostly on jealousy I say one more time and with even more emphasis and emotion, be careful what you wish for.

For those fasting I wish you and easy and meaningful fast.

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Welcome Singapore

I realize this might be some type of web crawler, but I am welcoming Singapore to see if it causes a greater spike or gets a reaction


Open Letter to Johnny Bench: When your childhood hero breaks your heart with an antisemitic slur

Dear Johnny,

Let me begin by saying that when high profile people make statements that belittle Jewish people in traditional ways, they show at the very least an incredible lack of sensitivity to the persecution we have suffered through as a people.

My name is David Groen. I was born on January 2, 1962 in the Jewish Hospital in Hamilton County Cincinnati. By that time, my parents, Holocaust survivors from Holland, had lived in Cincinnati since 1955 and had become avid Reds fans. So although we would move to a different city when I was just a year and a half, it was not surprising that growing up I would become a Reds fan myself. And while years later my devotion to the team would wane, I was incredibly fortunate that the first team I would love in sports, was one of the best baseball teams to ever play the game. The Big Red Machine.

What a team it was. I could name most players on the team, including the relief pitchers, but when it came down to it the team centered primarily around the exceptional play of Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, Tony Perez, in later years George Foster, and my personal favorite, you, Johnny Bench. I have always argued, often without pushback that you are the greatest catcher to ever play the game. Your defensive abilities were unmatched, and your accomplishments as a hitter, centered around clutch power, gave you a special flare for the heroic. I am 61 years old, and there are 3 things that anyone who knows me well can tell you. My favorite movie of all time is the Wizard of Oz. I think that when it comes to modern music there’s the Beatles and then everyone else. And my favorite baseball player of all time, certainly for as long as I can remember has been you, Johnny Bench.

But here is the problem I have today. Far more important to me than baseball is the importance I put on my Jewish faith. As the son of Holocaust survivors and someone who continues to fight in defense against hatred towards my religion and culture, I am very passionate when it comes to speaking out against those who belittle, mock, or hate the Jewish people. So when I found out about your recent “joke”, if I am to be very honest, tears started coming to my eyes. At a news conference honoring former Reds general manager Gabe Paul, who was Jewish, Pete Rose recalled, “When I got out of high school in 1960, Gabe Paul signed me to a contract for 400 bucks a month.” At which point Jennie Paul, Gabe Paul’s daughter joked, “that cheap, never mind”. That is when you chimed in, “He was Jewish”.

I know that many will say that there are far worse things said about Jews by far more relevant people, but for me this is personal. You were my childhood hero. When I was 24 and living in New York, I interviewed for a job to run a distribution center for a Proxy Solicitation firm. During the interview I was asked, if the world were made of candy and I could get anything I wanted, what job would I choose? Since I was focused more on getting the job, which I did, than I was on being 100% honest, I answered with my second choice, a broadcast journalist. If I would have been completely honest I would have answered, catcher for the Cincinnati Reds, because that was the job of my childhood hero, Johnny Bench. So when I say this is personal, it is because it transcends 50 decades of knowing that my first sports hero instinctively felt it was funny to belittle and make fun of who and what I am, and since it is next to impossible to go straight from having been my favorite baseball player for over 50 year to becoming the enemy, it ends up being heartbreaking for me and very personal instead.

So now, like so many others, you apologize to make it all go away. Well for me personally, since that is not enough, I have a suggestion. My mother’s younger brother and uncle I would never know, Bram Rodrigues, was murdered by the Nazis 3 weeks shy of his 19th birthday. You were called up to the Majors to play for the Reds at the age of 19. As a true sign of remorse for your lack of sensitivity, you, a man whose life became blessed when you got a dream job at the age of 19, should help me honor the memory of a young man who never made it to 19 because he was murdered just for being a Jew. Help me tell the story of how his violin made it back to the children of Bram’s sister, my mother, more than 70 years after his life was ripped away from him before he ever had a chance at achieving any of his dreams. http://bramsviolin.com/ . Do that Johnny, and I will not only accept your apology, but I might even go back to revering you as a baseball legend and a childhood hero.

Sincerely,

David Groen

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Also learn more at

 http://bramsviolin.com

and

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Remembering Rebbetzin Toby Friedman

It is not so often that you meet someone that makes you ask yourself, do I like them more or do I admire them more?

Rebbetzin Toby Friedman, or just Toby as so many of us knew her, was one of these people. In the 6 years in which I was a part of the Oceanside Jewish community, I was fortunate to have numerous opportunities to interact with this wonderful, pleasant woman. I had the honor and pleasure of driving her a number of times to and from the city, some for medical appointments, and one time so she could watch one of her grandchildren perform in a play. What struck me every time was that the moment she was seated in the car, you forgot that she was wheelchair bound. Her disability did not define her. Her strength and courage were so subtle, so much a part of her normal every day personality that it almost seemed like it was not a big deal. But it was, because it was inspirational, courageous, and admirable. And it helped make a Shabbos or Yom Tov meal with her and Rabbi Friedman as much fun as it was meaningful.

And then there was June, just 13 months ago, when I was in Oceanside for Shavuos, and the day after the holiday ended I was scheduled to leave late in the day for Israel. The problem was that I found myself with a dental emergency. I showed up at Dr. Solomon’s office where I explained to Toby that I was leaving on a flight to Israel in less than 10 hours, and the pain I had was so severe I was concerned about flying. I was seen by one of the dentists within an hour, had an abscess drained, and was charged a remarkably small amount of money. I always knew that while nothing was said by her or anyone in the office to verify this, my good fortune that day was because of Toby’s influence.

Being blessed to be part of a community as wonderful as Oceanside brings great joy, but with great joy in the face of loss it brings pain. While we all wish we never had to feel that pain, the joy of having known someone as special as Toby Friedman makes it a price willing to pay. I wish my friend Rabbi Friedman and all his family the strength they need moving forward. And for Toby, Baruch Dayan Emes.

Like what you see? Feel free to share!

Also learn more at

 http://bramsviolin.com

and

 http://kennethsarch.com